When you first got your period did a marching band show up at the front door?

Two nights ago the big function was held for the girl next door who 11 days ago reached her "age attendment." I have to say it was probably one of the coolest functions I've seen, and fun was had by all. Hopefully fun was also had by the girl, for whom this function was ostensibly being held. I say ostensibly only because for 95% of the function she was holed up in the room where she has been the past 11 days, and all the merriment was really going on outside.

First off, a marching band showed up and started to play: two drums, cymbals, trumpet and clarinet. They were pretty awesome. Shortly after that, the mother's brothers (maamaa) started to filter in. They are the ones whom the girl's father and everyone else must receive with pomp, circumstance, and respect. They are the ones who bear the expenses of this function for their niece, and indeed all important functions for their sister's daughter save marriage. When the mother's oldest brother showed up, everyone stood up, including the 85-year-old grandma which was a signal to me that this guy was a high roller of some kind. Turns out he is "just" the maamaa. But as Tamilarasi put it, even if the taay maamaa (mother's brother) is ten years old "we have to show him respect." Standing at attention for a ten-year-old boy would be a bit too heavy on the patriarchy for my tastes, but fortunately this particular taay maamaa was 40, not 10, and I of course stood up like everyone else.

The most important parts of the function seemed to center around the presentation of lavish gifts including vessels, fruits, silk sarees, eggs, sugar, jaggery, and huge quantities of cash money to the girl's parents. The material gifts are carried from the mother's father's house on the heads of the women, wives of the mother's brothers and other female relations. This is known as ciiru. They follow the marching band in a line, and in front of them men set off the obligatory atom bombs and other firecrackers to sufficiently deafen all those in attendance. When the women arrive at the girl's home, they are received by the girl's father and their gifts and cash money are catalogued in a ledger. This practice if known as moy. Even those who don't do the ciiru give huge sums of money for the moy, often to the point of going into incredible debt to do so. This is a matter of respect. The person to whom you give at a function will consult their ledger before they attend your next function, and will most like give double. I saw people who I know to be quite poor give the equivalent of half their monthly income. Often individuals will take out loans at extortinate interest rates to save face at the moy. In Madurai, unsavory moneylenders often compound the interest for such loans by the minute, thereby enslaving people for their whole lives.

After all the gifts have been received and duly noted in the ledger, it's time to bring the girl out of the room and out back for the ritual bath/tidal wave. All the wives of the material uncles, and other close relatives and female friends, take turns dumping water over the girl's head. As soon as the first drop was poured, some of the ladies starting doing that ululation thing which was pretty neat. As Tamilarasi put it, this is a "very auspicious sound." The female relatives also smeared lots of turmeric and other herbal concoctions on her as well. This lasted for quite some time. After the bathing, the girl is dressed in a super fancy silk saree given by the taay maamaa and ornamented in tons of gold. It's then time for the photo op, in which the girl prostrates to all the taay maamaa and their wives and receives their blessings. They then garland her.

After the photo time, we all made our way over to the mandapam where dinner was being served. No one will eat in the girl's house as it is tiiddu or impure. The girl must remain in her house for three more days as she is vulnerable to being grabbed by ghosts and demons if she leaves the house. For thirty days she must carry a piece of iron to ward off the evil spirits. Oh, and I forgot to mention that for the 15 days she is impure, she must drink raw eggs first thing in the morning. I asked Tamilarasi, isn't that gross? And she said, "Oh no! The first time you drink it you will vomit, but then after that it is fine."

Wonder if any of y'all ladies had a marching band show up to your house when you reached your "age attendment" way back when?

The grandma from next door is my Madurai style icon. She and I are actually the only people in Meenambalpuram who wear sunglasses. Except hers are way cooler than mine.

Photo-op in front of the kolam

As the bombs go off, the band plays on.

Ciiru (directly in front of my house)

Girl's father receives his wife's brothers

Mother's brothers seated around all the goodies.

moy: taay maamaa takes account of all the goodies and cash

One of the uncles garlands the girl.

Touching the feet of the mother's eldest brother.

Major bling.

Me with some of the neighbors.

Approximately 200 camera-crazy people demanded that I take their pictures. I took so many pictures that I went through two sets of batteries. When the digital camera comes out, a circus ensues. Curiously enough I managed to get at least one picture of myself.