dumber than a banana tree log

Today I learned that there are four types of intelligence:

1) Phosphorus: This material apparently lights on fire very easily; if the wind blows and there is a fire nearby, then phosphorus will easily go up in flames. Thus a “phosphorus” type person is very sharp.

2) Camphor: This substance will light on fire easily, but only if you put a match right up to it. This person is smart, given the right spark, but not as quick as phosphorus.

3) Karikkoddai (translation to follow): This item is very difficult to burn, and requires a lot of fanning and a lot of effort to get a good flame. This type is person is obviously considered dumb and slow.

4) Banana tree log: This type of wood simply will not burn. A banana tree log person is considered to be an idiot and a fool.

I was prompted to inquire about this intelligence scale after reading an article in the weekly magazine put out by the Dinamalar Tamil daily. The article was about a young Tamil software engineer, Rahul, and his experiences working in the United States. When he went home to India, his family and friends had a lot of questions about life in the states. Here's an excerpt:

“What is this, Rahul? Computer software engineers from our country are going to the United States by the boatloads. Americans aren't as smart as us, are they?” asks Rahul’s uncle.

“That’s true, uncle. If you grill one of our people four times about a particular issue, it’s enough. He’s like camphor. But if you tell an American this same thing even forty times it won’t penetrate their brain. Therefore, even if a boy from our country who is just an average student goes to America, he’ll be making sense of things in no time," replied Rahul.

I found this story pretty funny and consulted Tamilarasi to get to the bottom of it. She detailed the four types of intelligence for me, and you might be happy to hear that Americans don’t fall under the category of banana tree logs, but we are considered in the category of karikkoddai which is either a piece of shishkabob meat, the bark/seed from the curry leaf bush, or the firewood used when roasting meat, depending on the translation! I need to check with Tamilarasi to figure out what exactly she meant. So Americans aren’t absolute idiots, but we are dumb and slow. I’ll get back to you tomorrow with our final verdict. It's not looking good, though, because from the looks of my notes I’m pretty sure we are going to end up being a piece of damp firewood.

What do U think?

Which one R U?