being Tamil is expensive

Thought y'all might like this video. It's a short movie showing the procession of lady relatives bringing gifts to a ritual ear piercing for two kids, ages 3 and 6. These sorts of processions are known as ciir, and all sorts of auspicious occasions require them. They are accompanied by bursting firecrackers, virtual dynamite explosions, and marching bands. Relations are expected to provide gifts and cash to the tune of thousands (and sometimes tens of thousands) of rupees at events such as ear-piercings, weddings, and coming-of-age ceremonies. Money gifts are recorded in a ledger, with name and address and amount of cash being meticulously written down. If you don't have cash when a relation is having a function, you either pawn some gold jewelry if you have it, or you get a loan from a local moneylender at exorbitant interest rates.

If you're low on cash, it's a good idea to have a function. At this particular ear-piercing the family made Rs. 120,000. They're going to build a house with the money. It's interesting to note that while the whole point of these functions is to squeeze tens of thousands of rupees out of your relations and closest friends, people aren't supposed to do up their functions too grand because people will talk about them being too ostentatious. So at this function, the meal was veg and no goat meat was served. People brought a live goat along as the ciir was being marched in, but it turns out the relatives took the goat back home with them when the function was over. The family also didn't hire a professional photographer or videographer (the reason for which, I am told, was to avoid being too ostentatious), but they took care to invite two foreigners with cameras who were instructed to take hundreds of photos of every aspect of the function.

Some people don't even bother disguising the fact that their functions are all about the Benjamins, or Gandhis as the case is here. Recently I went to a coming-of-age ceremony in a village about one hour from Madurai. When we reached the venue I was greeted by a girl about 12 years old whom I assumed to be the reason for the function. Then a little while later a girl shows up all decked out in what was actually wedding jewelry and I was really confused as to what was going on. Well, it turns out the girl in the wedding finery was the one having the coming-of-age ceremony, and she was 21 years old!!! She came of age probably ten years ago, but her family decided to have a "do-over" so they could advertise her for marriage...and rake in Rs. 300,000!!! A handy sum when you are about to spend every penny you have on dowry gold. It comes as no surprise that everyone I know is in debt up to their ears because of ritual obligations. During the last ear-piercing we went to, a friend of mine was horribly embarassed because she could only give Rs. 3000 (more than twice the monthly salary of a day-laborer). Luckily she wasn't one of the in-laws or she would have been laying down Rs. 10,000 easily -- plus gold earrings, chains, and rings. This doesn't count all the vessels, fruits, and clothing that come as part of the ciir. Compare this with the price of the punch bowl you had to buy from that wedding registry in the States and you realize just how expensive it is to be a Tamil.